Loss

This past week I was again given the sad duty of telling one of our much-loved missionaries that his father had died.  In a poorer country with regards to worldly means, such as the Philippines, this is unfortunately a more common experience than it should be.  Thirty two of our young missionaries have sadly lost close family members since our arrival here 16 months ago.  This week’s loss was particularly difficult because the loss of his father at age 50 has left this young man orphaned. His mother died a few years ago.  His two surviving siblings are working and studying in Manila and cannot come to the burial because of severe travel restrictions caused by the pandemic.  Our brave young missionary must face this sorrow alone.  

He is one of the missionaries  we received into the mission not long ago.  He was serving in Africa but was evacuated home at the start of the pandemic.  I find it interesting that our Father in Heaven, with His perfect foreknowledge, had him come home and spend about 4 months with his father before his father died.  As he waited to return to the mission field, he did not get a job or go to school; he waited to return and spent time with his father.  That time spent is now sacred in that young man's heart.  I also find it interesting that his companion lost a grandfather about 8 months ago and his District Leader (a young missionary responsible for 4 to 10 other missionaries) lost his mother about 3 months ago.  Both of these other missionaries have brought forth empathy out of the treasures of their experiences, borne of their own suffering, to bless and help our young orphaned missionary.  God often does not remove tragedy from our lives but He does prepare helps to enable us to endure our sorrows; which helps often involve other people who act as angels sent to us.

Typically when these tragedies strike the missionary’s home is far from where he is serving.  If travel permits, (which is now a luxury because of the pandemic) missionaries who suffer the loss of a close relative while serving a mission are occasionally given a brief leave of absence to enable time with family and attendance at the funeral.  We tearfully send these missionaries home to grieve but cannot go with them or provide support.  In this case, because our young missionary's home is within our mission, we were able to spend time with him, neighbours and friends at the home where his father's remains lie.  Filipino tradition is that the remains of a loved one lie in their home until burial.  

It was nice to see members of the local congregation provide what comfort they could.  I am reminded of a time just after I was married when I was working on a pipeline construction job with my father.  On this day I was working with a rough but kindly man who likely had never set foot in a church for many years, if at all.  While rougher living, he was smart and observant.  My friend noticed that I was quiet that day and asked if anything was wrong.  I responded that I was just a little sad because a family friend had been killed in a car accident and had left behind a wife and several small children.  He asked if my friend was a member of my Church?  I replied, "Yes."  He responded "It will be ok; you Mormons know how to take care of one another."

I never suffered the loss of a loved one while I served my mission as a young man but I almost did.  When it was time for me to report to the Missionary Training Center in early July 1981, my Mother,  Grandmother, Aunt Colleen and best friend Tony Yee drove me to the MTC from Canada.  Early in the morning on the day I was to enter the MTC, my dear Grandmother suffered a stroke.  I missed most of my first day because I was at the intensive care unit of the nearby hospital.  I was terrified.  How I loved my Grandmother.  As a young boy my Grandmother took my brothers and I hiking, camping, fishing and tubing down the St. Mary's River.  These and other activities always involved homemade root beer, ice cream and other grand treats.  If the line on my fishing pole became tangled, as it often did, then Grandmother was the one to patiently untangled the line.  She was every young boys dream grandmother. The thought of losing her was difficult.  As we waited in the hospital the thought came to me that Tony and I had recently been ordained to the Melchizedek Priesthood and could give her a blessing.  I said to Tony, "We can do that, you know".  He enthusiastically agreed.  I asked if he had any consecrated oil which is pure olive oil blessed by the Priesthood for blessing the sick.  He said, "No" (neither did I).  We went to the local grocery store near the hospital. The only olive oil I could find was a 1 gallon jug.  As we waited to pay for our gallon of olive oil I asked Tony if he knew the correct way to consecrate the oil for use in blessings.  He said "No, I have not learned that yet".  I likewise had no idea how to do it.  We were in Utah so we just wandered around the store until we could spot a man who looked like a member of the Church.  We soon spotted a middle-aged man who was working at the store stocking shelves.  I then walked up to a complete stranger and asked him if he was a member of the Church and held the Priesthood.  He replied, "Yes", so I lifted up my gallon of olive oil and sheepishly asked if he could teach us how to consecrate it for blessing the sick.  He took us into the back storeroom and between the boxes of apples and peaches waiting to be taken out to the sales floor taught us how to do it.  We rushed back to the hospital and put one drop on Grandmother's head, blessed her, and then I left for the Missionary Training Center.  I have no idea what Mother did with the rest of that gallon of consecrated oil.  Grandmother would live another 27 years, albeit at a diminished capacity.  I was so embarrassed by the experience that I promised myself there and then that I would always have the knowledge and worthiness to perform my Priesthood duties whenever required.

I pray our young orphaned missionary will be ok.  I think he will.  He is a strong, talented young man.  I pray every night for all of our missionaries whom we love..... and their families.